we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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