Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
the liver wants what the liver wants
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
True strength comes from lack of pants
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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