so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
