Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
