We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
