Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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