Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Why did my mother make you get naked?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
