He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
