I seem to have left my pride at pride
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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