I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
