That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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