I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
