lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.