I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.