There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate