I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
