I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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