Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize