Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
