Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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