I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I have aggressive nipples.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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