ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
