I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
