There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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