Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
