so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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