If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no more duck duck goose at the bar
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize