Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
