my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
