Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
