Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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