Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
