i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
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