I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
