I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
