You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
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My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
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His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Then you guys just all showered together...?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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