So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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