She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
