I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Randomize
