Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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