Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
