Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
