Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
