You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
