How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
he quoted the bible to break up with me
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
