You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
You were trust falling into bushes
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
