"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
