I wish my penis had an off switch
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We left the knife in your bed.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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