hell yes lets make some ravioli
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
