My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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