yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
It's never too late to be topless.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
