Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
