Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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