How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
