And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
