I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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