Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
