My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
