I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
