What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize