Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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