Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
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