I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
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