i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
