He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
