So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
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you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
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He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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